Black Death

It’s a shame I didn’t read this story, reported by a British newspaper, yesterday because I don’t really like to overshadow the other big news of today. But I have to. It’s too good not to share.

Are you ready?

Al-Qaeda has been dealt what could prove to be a devastating blow…

…by…

…wait for it (oh I know that’s old, but this is too good)…

The Plague!

That’s right. Black Death! The disease that has killed over 75 million people in its history and is directly responsible for devastating Europe in the 1300s (about 25 to 50 million died in Europe—roughly 30% to 60% of its population).

The Plague has been identified as the cause of death for about 40 al-Qaeda insurgents training at a camp in Algeria, North Africa.

The Plague, or Black Death, spreads quickly and surely means death within hours for those without access to proper medical treatment, such as al-Qaeda insurgents training in forest camps.

Although Bubonic Plague is often used synonymously with The Plague (can’t stop capitalizing that!), it is actually just one form of the disease called simply “plague.” It’s a deadly, infectious bacterial disease. And did I mention that al-Qaeda has it?

Oh! Symptoms! Symptoms of The Plague include boils. Boils! Boils on the neck, armpits, and groin!

Okay, it’s probably time to stop grinning and gloating. It’s this day, I tell ya—I can’t stop grinning today.

But seriously, the al-Qaeda group within which The Plague outbreak began has buried its dead at their forest camp and fled the area. But The Plague can live undetected in the body for over a week before any symptoms become apparent, so it’s possible that insurgents could pass on The Plague (ooh, I love saying that!) to other terror cells or Taliban fighters in Afghanistan.

I’m sure more about this story will come out in the next while, but just note that The Plague has a history of being used as a biological weapon. Ancient China and medieval Europe used infected animal and human carcases to contaminate water supplies. The Japanese weaponized The Plague during WWII. After that war, the U.S. and the Soviet Union weaponized pneumonic plague and also worked on an antibiotics-resistant strain, because plague can be treated with antibiotics.

So is there a chance that this was intentional? Is some al-Qaeda enemy responsible for the Plaguing?

You know what? It doesn’t really matter. Al-Qaeda has The Plague!

P.S. It is not in my nature to take gleeful joy in the suffering of others. This post in no way diminshes the suffering of, nor should be taken as a sign of disrespect towards, anyone with plague. Unless you’re al-Qaeda, in which case: Tee-hee!
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Published in: on January 20, 2009 at 1:49 pm  Comments (1)  
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One CommentLeave a comment

  1. Ha-ha! Hilarious. You’re funny. I like your writing style and I agree with most of what you say. We should get married.


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