Just like Hitler

There’s an instructor at my gym who kind of shouts at us and makes us count down. If we don’t count down, she starts again at the beginning. She also makes us respond when she asks, “Can you feel it!?” She will yell it over and over again until we all respond. Whether we can feel it or not, we have to respond “yes!” It’s not as if we can say, “Sort of. Not really. Maybe I will tomorrow.” She’s such a Nazi. No, in fact, she’s Hitler!

I think the people who run NGOs are probably just using their socio-political humanitarian work as fronts to impose their own idealist “world peace” agenda. They’re all communists.

If you don’t wear deodorant in the summer time, you are imposing your disgusting body odour on others against their will and you deserve to be killed, you stinky Nazi.

Sometimes my cat scratches at my legs when his nails are too long and it hurts! Hitler cat.

When there is a line-up—stand in it! Don’t walk to the front as if you own the world. People who do that are no better than Hitler.

In my country, if I get sick or have an accident and break something, I can go to the doctor or hospital and get fixed. And I don’t have to pay for it. Clearly the Canadian system is just like Nazi Germany. Bunch of commies.

Sometimes when I get a coffee from the coffee shop in the lobby of my office building they don’t fill the cup to the top. Frickin’ Nazis.

Bob Ross was a painter who had a TV show called The Joy of Painting. He had an afro and painted mostly landscapes. He said things like, “I’m gonna put a happy little tree right here. Oh, but he needs a friend. Can’t leave him there all alone. I’ll put another little happy tree right next to him.” He spoke in a calm almost-whisper. He was mesmerising. Whether you cared about painting or not, you could not turn the channel when you stumbled upon Bob Ross. I think he was probably communicating something evil via subtext or subliminal messages. He was like a reincarnated Hitler!

There is hardly anywhere you can park in Toronto during the day without having to pay an arm and a leg. What is this, Nazi Germany?

The other day was the hottest, most humid day we’ve had in Toronto all summer. It was hard to breathe, the heat and humidity were so oppressive. Oppressive like Hitler.

There is gum stuck to the pedal of my bike. Argh! So annoying! It’s just like Hitler.


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5 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Awesomely hilarious!! I forget who said, once you invoke Hitler or Nazi Germany in an argument (that’s not about WWII) you’ve lost the argument. Whoever said that was clearly some Fascistic jerk.

  2. Thanks! A little Googling turned up this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godwin%27s_law. Could that be the source, sort of extended over time?

  3. I love Bob Ross! I stumbled upon his show years ago while vacationing in London, England for the summer. His show only aired at 6AM weekdays. I got up everyday a little before six (a bit early for the summertime) to record his show. Still have the tapes somewhere. Sometimes I pass by his painting sets at art stores and am tempted every time to buy something…but I have yet to do so :0(
    May he rest in peace.

    Funny post…though I think I’m missing something.

  4. If you’re missing all the comparisons of Obama, the Democrats, and healthcare reform to Hitler, the Nazis, and Communism/Socialism, then YOU’RE LUCKY! I wish I had missed it.

  5. I had heard something a while back, but the comparisons must have really become a constant thing since I haven’t been tuned into the news lately and have obviously missed it all.
    Of course, now your post makes perfect sense.

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